{"id":1050,"date":"2016-09-02T05:49:40","date_gmt":"2016-09-01T22:49:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yuliardika.com\/blog\/?p=1050"},"modified":"2016-09-02T05:49:40","modified_gmt":"2016-09-01T22:49:40","slug":"tuhan-gelar-manusia-perlu-direvisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yuliardika.com\/blog\/literasi\/fiksi\/1050\/tuhan-gelar-manusia-perlu-direvisi","title":{"rendered":"Tuhan, Gelar Manusia Perlu Direvisi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">A : Mas, gubernurku hari ini merayakan pesta pernikahan anaknya lho.<br \/>\nB : Sejak kapan gubernur punya anak dan punya tugas merayakan pernikahan?<br \/>\nA : Lha ini di koran, baca deh.<span class=\"text_exposed_show\"><br \/>\nB : Yang merayakan pernikahan ya orang tua. Pas ngijabke dan ngirabke anake yo Bapak Anu bukan gubernur, pas itu dia jadi orang tua. Piye sih kowe.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"text_exposed_show\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">C : Bro, kolonel Anu tadi malam berhubungan dengan istrinya lho.<br \/>\nD : Mosok, sejak kapan tentara tugasnya berhubungan intim.<br \/>\nC : Lho bener, tadi ada yang cerita<br \/>\nD : Hussss, ra sopan. Pas dia berhubungan itu ya dia berarti jadi suami. Ga ada sejarahnya tentara kok tugasnya begituan<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">E : Kok deretan shaf depan kosong?<br \/>\nF : Itu buat menteri Anu dan rombongan.<br \/>\nE : Kok bisa. Menteri apa yang kerjaannya shalat. Menteri ya kerjaannya menangani masalah di bidangnya.<br \/>\nF : Lho, kan dia menteri, harus ada tempat khusus dong akh.<br \/>\nE : Yang diperintah shalat itu manusia, abdullah. Kalau dia datang ke sini ya sebagai manusia, datang telat ya dapat tempat belakang. Mana ada menteri kerjaannya shalat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">G : Mulai sekarang panggil aku Pak Haji ya, kan aku habis dari Mekah<br \/>\nH : Kalau gitu, tolong panggil aku Mushollin, soalnya aku habis shalat, lebih sering malahan.<br \/>\nG : Heh, kamu kok kayak gitu.<br \/>\nH : Yang namanya Haji ya orang yang sedang melakukan ibadah haji. Kalau sudah pulang dari Mekah ya panggilannya Pak yang Pernah Berhaji.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I : Wah yang nikah keren, gelarnya M. Pd. ketemu dengan M. Si.<br \/>\nJ : Woh, sejak kapan ada aturan pernikahan akademik.<br \/>\nI : Ini lihat di undangan<br \/>\nJ : Yang namanya pernikahan, syaratnya mempelai pria dan wanita, wali dan saksi. Kalau gelar akademik ya dipakainya pas bikin paper atau mengisi kuliah.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">K : Itu siapa yang di toilet?<br \/>\nL : Direkturmu<br \/>\nK : Lho, ada to poin pekerjaan direktur bahwa harus ke toilet?<br \/>\nL : Oh, sorry mas, yang ditoilet itu mas Anu<br \/>\nK : Nah gitu dong, nanti kalau sudah di ruang rapat saya panggil direktur.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Malaikat : Tuhan, karena gelar manusia sudah mulai jarang dipakai, padahal itu gelar pemberian-Mu, apa perlu direvisi?<br \/>\nTuhan : Biarin dulu saja, mereka lagi seneng bikin gelar-gelaran, dan merasa lebih hebat dari gelar yang kuanugerahkan kepada mereka. Aku menganugerahkan gelar MANUSIA, tapi mereka memang sukanya melakukan bid&#8217;ah, nggak tahu konteks ruang dan waktunya. Yang penting jangan ada yang membuat gelar Nabi, Rasul, atau yang menggunakan nama-nama kebesaran-Ku.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">*Joke ini saya peroleh inspirasinya dari diskusi menyoal kemanusiaan kita.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>Juwiring, 1 September 2016<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A : Mas, gubernurku hari ini merayakan pesta pernikahan anaknya lho. B : Sejak kapan gubernur punya anak dan punya tugas merayakan pernikahan? A : Lha ini di koran, baca deh. B : Yang merayakan pernikahan ya orang tua. Pas ngijabke dan ngirabke anake yo Bapak Anu bukan gubernur, pas itu dia jadi orang tua&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[13],"tags":[580,238],"class_list":["post-1050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiksi","tag-gelar-manusia","tag-manusia"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Tuhan, Gelar Manusia Perlu Direvisi - YuliArdika.Com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.yuliardika.com\/blog\/literasi\/fiksi\/1050\/tuhan-gelar-manusia-perlu-direvisi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"id_ID\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tuhan, Gelar Manusia Perlu Direvisi - YuliArdika.Com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A : Mas, gubernurku hari ini merayakan pesta pernikahan anaknya lho. B : Sejak kapan gubernur punya anak dan punya tugas merayakan pernikahan? A : Lha ini di koran, baca deh. B : Yang merayakan pernikahan ya orang tua. 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